Been talking ’bout the way things change, and my family lives in a different state

Magellan,

Howdy. Another week. I spent the entire day in bed yesterday. Entire day.

My best friend from high school just had a baby! She made a human. Her story of meeting her husband is super romantic. She went down to New Orleans for some cocktail festival that her friend was a part of. Her (then) future husband saw her in a bar and told his friends “I’m gonna marry that woman.” She lived in Chicago, he was from the Bay. They started writing letters. I remember sitting next to her at Bar Deville in Chicago while she got excited about writing him a letter, or finding the perfect stationary. He came out for a few visits, and then moved out to the Windy City.

They got engaged right after I moved to Seattle. In one of the shortest pre-wedding periods ever, they planned the most epic wedding in less than a month. After living here for 3 months I flew to Las Vegas along with nearly all of their family and friends. They got married in a tiny chapel and rented a double decker bus with a singing Elvis that drove down the strip at sunset.

They are hands down, the most attractive couple on the planet and I’m pretty sure little Winston is going to be a looker too.

It’s Mother’s day, did you call your mom?

My favorite memory of my mother is actually a really sad one. I was kind of a shit as a kid, but before I was a little asshat I was just a girl. We lived in this subdivision with a bunch of other families with kids and we all rode the bus to school together. That was how I met Mandy (and my mother met her mom, Donna). At one point we went to Florida for a vacation (the only vacation my family ever took) with their family. It worked well because she also had a little brother that was my little brother’s age, and our fathers also got along.

Around third grade, Allison and her family moved kitty-corner to me. At first, it was fun. There was another girl to play with. But soon, Donna and Mandy were choosing to hang out with Allison and her mother and not inviting me and mine. I remember my mother was sitting on the porch and I was probably drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. I looked up and saw Mandy’s family van drive up and park in Allison’s driveway. They got out and went inside. I went and sat on my mom’s lap and I think we both cried. It’s one thing when everyone else is hanging out without you, but it’s another when you see it.

My mother and I are both quiet, awkward people. Once you can get through that, you learn that we are incredibly smart, loyal, and even (at least I like to think) hilarious. That was the first time I believe I really connected with my mother. To this day, I hate feeling left out and I don’t know how to not get passive aggressive about it. I am always trying to connect my friends to each other, but then get incredibly jealous when they do stuff together without me.

It really sucks having my family so far away. I was never best friends with my mother and definitely spent my teenage years fighting with her. Now, my best friends from that time are getting married and having babies. Mandy already has 3 (twins!) and they are already halfway through elementary school. Even though I started over here less than 3 years ago, I feel like I am starting over, yet again.

I miss my mom, and I don’t really know how to tell her that but I sure as hell am not going to move to Wisconsin (<-not where I grew up). I have my mother’s wedding dress. Should I ever meet the man of my dreams, I fully intend to get it “updated” and invite select friends and family for a best day ever. Instead of blowing a wad of cash on a party because some wedding magazine tells me that’s how you do it, I want a day of activities where everyone is dressed like we’re going to a wedding but instead we’re going to go to a baseball game, take a boat ride, maybe go bowling, maybe go-cart racing, and hopefully have a beach bonfire at the end of the day.

My parents met, eloped and they are still married and it’s adorable. If they were able to find each other (here, in Washington after meeting at a Halloween party) then I have to believe there is someone out there for me, just waiting to have a best day ever.

And if you don’t know what to make of this
Then we will not relate.
(don’t worry, I’ll keep writing^)

Yours,

N.

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