I know we’ve been through this before

Magellan,

It’s my last week of mini retirement… Yay?

Last weekend I went camping for my friend’s birthday. First, I was the third wheel. Then the fifth. Then the seventh. Like a gosh darn harmonic tuning exercise.

It’s okay. It’s how it is supposed to be.

Currently I am roasting a chicken and it smells damn delicious.

Thank goodness for the running. Today in an attempt to “rundo” (yes, I went there) the caloric and carborific componets of my camping based diet I ran a quick 10 miler around town.

Isn’t it amazing how running makes you feel so dang good?

A dude tried to pass me and so I passed him back, like “take that, dude.” I made very eloquent thought bubbles while I jogged.

I don’t want my retirement to end, and I don’t like working. But I like being able to pay for my life.

Ahem, why haven’t you tried to see me yet?

Can’t you hear me, I’m calling out your name?
Can’t you see me, I’m pounding on your door?

Fine.

You should see my house these days. Today, as part of my farewell to leisure time I did a deep clean but I left at least three projects in progress on my dining room table.

It’s funny. I thought for sure I was going to leave. It got really dark for a minute and I felt quite alone (and not in one of those productive get shit done modes).

When I used to go out, I would know everyone that I saw
Now I go out alone if I go out at all

But now, it just is. I’ve still surrendered myself to the universe.

I still have to believe that there is luxury in this delay.

The gang is going to get wings on Wednesday because that is what we do when Nikki gets a new job.

Sorry, Magellan. Just a bunch of random thoughts this time. I have been working a lot on short stories so I’m a bit tapped out when it comes to the cohesive, eloquent letter-writing.

Just in case, I feel like I still have things to say.
Do you ever mess things up preemptively? I fear I did just that.

a memory’s sealed
inside a snapshot of night
still I wait to see

Later,

N.

PS. ask me again in a week.

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